Sunday, January 24, 2010

Hope Has Wings

"Like that would ever happen!" I said to myself one day. The TV was showing a movie how a young man woke up from a coma because of his girlfriend. I then turned off the TV and sighed. I was sitting in my kitchen on a Sunday morning. Even though the sound of Los Angeles' crazy drivers were loud, I still heard and felt the calmness of my home. I was 23 years old and knew I couldn't be any happier. I had a had a big dream and a long way to go. I had just finished eating breakfast when my boyfriend, Steven, called. Steven and I have been together for 3 years. I picked up the phone in joy and answered.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hey Ada! Are you free today? I have a huge surprise for you and I think you will be very happy." He answered back.
"Really? Ok. Where do you want to meet?" I asked.
"No. I'll come and pick you up. Make sure you wear something nice, like always." Steven said.
"Ok. Meet you in thirty minutes, ok?"
"Sure. See you later then." Steven answered.

Steven always had little surprises for me. He was the nicest guy I knew. He always made me laugh. Whenever I'm around him, I always feel like the most elated person in the world. I quickly ran into my room and ransacked my closet. I picked out a fancy dress, thought again and placed it back. Steven never liked fancy stuff and liked simple things. He only valued a person's inside, which was why I fell for Steven. Ding Dong! I opened the door and there was Steven. Steven was a tall, brown haired guy with the sweetest smile ever.
"You look really nice and ethereal today, Ada." He complimented.
I blushed and thanked him. We headed down to his car and I found a large bouquet of flowers sitting in there.
"These are for you, Ada. You always look nice, just like these roses." He told me.
" I love them! Thanks!" I responded and then gave him a hug.

We drove on and asked where we were going, but he wouldn't tell me. It was a really sunny day and warm day. The sun's beams struck Steven's face and he looked the most perfect guy in the world. He caught my eye looking at him, but just smiled. We then arrived at a park. This was the park where we first met and became friends. I laughed and asked,
"What are we doing at this old place? This place beings back so many memories."
"I don't know. Just wanted to come here and possibly make new memories." He muttered.
We walked over to a bench and sat down. Steven began to talk about our old memories and I just sat and pictured them. I pictured the scenes from when we first met to our first kiss.
"Hold on. I need to get something, ok?" He told me.
I sat and waited for quite a while, but didn't see him. I began to wonder where he went and what he was doing. Steven then came back, not with a bouquet of flowers, but with the biggest and cutest bear with a box in its hands. I was speechless and opened the box. In there was a little tablet of stone with the word "Hope" carved onto it. The other side was a picture of a dove.
" What are you doing? Everyone is looking at us." I whispered.
" I want them to see. I want to show them that I can make you the happiest woman on earth." He knelt down and said,
" Ada, will you make ME the happiest man in the world by marrying me?" When Steven said this, all I saw in his eyes was sincerity. I couldn't even speak. All that was coming out of me was tears of joy. I just nodded and he slipped the ring through my finger. I jumped up and wrapped his neck with my arms. He swept me off my feet and spun me around.

We decided to go for a walk. While we were walking on the streets, a man came running through and knocked me over. My tablet of Hope fell into the streets of busy cars. I panicked and went to retrieve it. I bent down and reached for it, but when I looked back up, a car was zooming towards me. Everything happened in a flash.
"Ada!" was all I heard until I saw Steven's body on the floor. I rushed to him with tears falling like a stream.
"No. No, please wake up! Steven get up!" I sobbed.
I heard an ambulance coming, but I just held tight to Steven's body. We finally reached the hospital and before I knew it, Steven was in a coma. I didn't know what to say or do. All I did was sat by his bed and held on to his hand in tears.

Three years easily passed by and I still went on with my life. Each and every day I would sit by Steven's bed and talk to him. Even though people said he was latent, I knew in my heart that Steven was listening to my every word. I told him that I would always for him because I had hope in him. Every time I talked to him, I always felt tears rushing down my face. I knew that Steven wouldn't want my to be morose all the time, but I couldn't help it.
"Steven, do you hate me that much? Why won't you get up? You promised you would always be with me!" I cried to myself one day.

During these years, everything was the same except the fact that my boss had offered a promotion, but I would have to move far away. My boss was also my friend, whose name was Ron. He was a really nice guy, who liked me. Ron always gave me presents, flowers, and called to see how I was doing. Sometimes Ron even suggested that I leave Steven and move away with him, but I always refused jokingly. One day the doctor told me that Steven was not likely to wake up and Ron also heard the news. He kept convincing me to leave with him.
"Ada, I'm not trying to be mean, but even the doctor said that Steven isn't going to wake up. I can give you the happiness that he can. You know how I feel towards you. I promise that Steven wouldn't be upset because he would want the best for you." Ron told me.
"I don't know. I just have a feeling inside of me that tells me that Steven is going to wake up. " I answered in tears.
"Even if he does wake up, he'll just be onerous to you!" He yelled.
"Just give me some time, Ron. Please."
"Ok, but you better hurry because the flight is in two days." Ron said and then left.
That night, I sat by Steven's bed sad and confused. I loved Steven very much, but Ron had given me so much. He was there when I was doleful and would always quell and bolster me. I didn't know what to do. This was an impasse that I couldn't avoid.

The next day came and I went to visit Steven. I sat there until night and cried. Before I left, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered,"Sorry." into his ear.
The day came and Ron came to pick me up. I was still irresolute, but I had no time left. The way to the airport was quiet and tears just dropped the whole way. We then reached the terminal and I saw a sign saying,"Never give up Hope. It's always there, but sometimes it may be hidden. Hope has wings, it can bring you anything." I stopped and looked at my stone, which I always kept by my side. As I walked on, I had a feeling inside of me that told me to turn back.
"Ron, I don't think I can continue this journey with you anymore. I owe you so much, but I know that Steven is going to wake up and walk through life with me. I'm sorry."
"I understand. I wish you good benediction, mostly happiness. You'll always be in my a great friend." Ron said. I gave him a hug and ran off towards the hospital. I knew my heart belonged to Steven, so I ran as fast as I could. As I hustled towards his room, I saw many doctors and nurses rush in. I followed and saw that Steven's heart had stopped beating. They were trying to save him, but he had no response. My whole world stopped and I couldn't breathe. My body was pervaded by trepidation and my emotions were incorrigible. The nurses wouldn't let me in, but I fought through. I grabbed Steven's hand and said,
"Steven! Don't leave me! Please! I love you!" As I said this, I placed my stone of hope in his hand and whispered,
"Don't leave me."
The doctors tried to save him once more and I just closed my eyes and prayed. I opened my eyes in tears and saw that Steven was saved. I rushed in with thrill and embraced his body. Tears splashed upon his face and miraculously he woke up! He held me tight with his arms and whispered,
"I'll never let you go, Ada. Thanks for having hope in me. I love you."
"I'll never leave you again. Hope will help walk us through life together. I love you too."


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I think the main conflict of the story is between Ada and herself, because she has to choose between two guys with different values. I think the main character, Ada, took lots of things for granted before something happened to someone she loved. At the end of the story, she's more cautious and grateful to what she values. If she didn't change, then the outcome of the story would've been different.

    I thought the rising action was very good. "The sun hit his face and he looked like the most perfect guy in the world," was the quote I chose. I liked it because it shows Ada's true emotion and feeling towards Steven, and it's also very descriptive and gives a lot of information. I believe that the best quality would have to be the characters. They all have a bond that brings them together in some way, shape or form.

    I think the story's theme is love, and how you need to be loyal to the ones who are true. Such as Ada and Steven, and how he proposes to her in a special way. Something that could be changed would probably be the dialogue. It's not completely realistic, and maybe more contractions would be better. You should also watch some of your spelling and grammar, you don't want points off for something that can be easily fixed.

  3. ~The conflict is that the guy who she loves goes into a coma and she is not so sure what to do when another guy comes into play. It is internal. It is resolved when he wakes up and she loves him and has hope. It was very interesting how she almost left him and then she turns around and then having hope saves him. It was pretty dramatic.
    ~Ada changed by loving someone so much to losing then and then loses hope but get a feeling to where she gains it and goes back to full loving him. It is important because if she didn't he would of died.
    ~My favorite part was when he woke up and it was because of hope and all and they loved each other more than ever. It was the resolution. "I'll never leave you again. Hope will help walk us through life together. I love you too." It said how hope is very important and that hope is a part of love. Love is very strong.
    ~The best quality was the emotion. There was so much and you felt as if you were in their place. Like when one was happy in love and sad also hurt.
    ~The theme is always have hope. Where hope can get you thru so much and helps a lot.
    ~What you want to look over is the introduction. It was not very grabbing so you might want to start off like in a dramatic moment then have a flash back that could be cool.

  4. elated, latent, quell, morose, trepidation, incorrigible, bolster, doleful, benediction, evasive, irresolute, etheral, pervade, impasse, onerous

  5. The conflict in this story is an internal conflict. Ada's boyfriend proposed to her and shortly after he was hit and went into a coma. Her friend Ron tried to show her that he loves her. Ada still had hope for Steven though...While reading the story I wanted Steven to wake up, so that they could be together.
    My favorite part of the story was when steven woke up from his coma. the moment was so cute and very emotional. If he didnt wake up, ada would have been with Ron, or she would have never moved on. This was also my favorite part of the story. Another one of my favorite parts was when Steven proposed to Ada.
    This story's best quality would be the characters, and the description of the emotions. I could feel Ada's pain and her hope fading as time went on. But she still stayed strong.
    The story's theme would be to never lose hope. Good things always turn out in the end.
    I really liked your story, I would just read over to find and grammatical mistakes.

  6. The conflict of this story is that the man Ada loves is in a coma, and she doesn't know whether she should wait for him even though everyone says he won't wake up, or whether she should go be with another guy who cares a lot about her. It is an internal conflict. I was extremely interested in the resolution. The entire story I wanted Steven to wake up so he and Ada could be together. I think the story was very dramatic as is.

    At one point, Ada almost leaves Steven to be with Ron. She gives up hope that Steven will live. Then, just as she's getting ready to leave with Ron, she regains her faith and goes back to be with Steven. If this hadn't happened she would have left with Ron and never would have ended up with Steven.

    I had two favorite parts of the story. First was when Steven proposed to Ada, which happened in the the rising action, and when Steven survives and wakes up from his coma, which happens in the resolution. "I'll never let you go, Ada. Thanks for having hope in me. I love you." I picked this line because I was happy that Ada and Steven ended up together.

    I personally like the resolution the best because Ada and Steven, who everyone knows are supposed to be together, finally get to be together again.

    I think the story's theme is to never give up and never lose faith because if Ada had given up hope that Steven would live, she wouldn't have ended up with him.

    I thought the story over all was very good, the only thing I would do is reread and make sure there aren't any typos or grammar mistakes because I noticed a few.